I am a spiritual person, not stupid!

I am not a religious person. In spite of being raised as a good Catholic, it was very early in life that I stopped believing in the rituals of the Roman church, and I ended seeking spiritual encouragement in other religions or even in other life philosophies. That search, took me towards the spiritual religions, where my questions seemed to be accepted and the answers were somehow clarified in some way. The main reason of this text is not to glorify one religion, which is the best or which is the worst, especially because for me, at the end of the day, they are all the same... Therefore, choose something that takes you closer to your essence and follow your life in the best possible way with no regrets, if that is all possible.

More than a decade ago, I went through personal circumstances in my life that brought me a lot of anguish and I ended being introduced to a more spiritual approach to life. Which means a more ethereal way of seeing things, you know, to put things in perspective. It was then, when I was introduced to one of the most wonderful and wised person I met throughout my life: Lady Lúcia, a good friend's mother, and it was with her that I learned that, a lot of times in life it is necessary to go over our own feelings, prejudice and pride (No, I am not talking about Jane Austin!), to learn how to forgive, that it is vital to help people and try to wish good things to others, moreover, above all, to be available for your mates when they need you. I have also learned that what you wish to people usually comes back to you faster than you thought. For this reason, wishes me plenty of money and you will be richer than me. Now, if you want to play the game and wish me a lot of shit… you will be buried in crap faster than you imagine. Action and reaction... Physics’ Law… Simple as that!

I am fine in being a spiritual person. The problem is that some people abuse my patience and also my readiness, and the reason why they do that is because they always rely on my “kindness” and disposition to help. And me, due to my spiritual beliefs or even making use of my solidarity, or perhaps, even due to the moral values that I received from my mother, or maybe due to my upbringing, end up being taken by the heat of the moment. And when I realise, it is usually too late and the feelings of abandonment and frustration is already settled in my life and I feel like an idiot.

Sometimes it is necessary to set the limits clear; this is the only way to avoid getting these feelings in the first place. Some people are parasites and feed themselves from your energy and will power. They are like that by nature, they were born like that and they don't need to make any effort to act like. Others never realizes that they behave like a parasite, this is when you have to be brave enough to say it, and of course you are at risk of loosing a friend!(usually is not worth keeping!) Remember, the truth is not for everyone. The point is does not matter how you got wrapped up in the situation, and is up to you to get the responsibility of saying that enough is enough.

How many times, without notice, have you received a call, or even an e-mail from someone asking for a “little help” in the most unusual hours? Or even someone asking if you can lend them some money? How many times did you change your plans to make someone else feels better? Or even have done something to include someone in a situation? What about those times that you even gave the last piece of your sandwich or a pastry to someone that was giving you that poor face, which of course broke your heart? (I know that is sad and cruel! I don't know the reason why, but the last piece of any food seems to be always the best one!).

Have you already been through one or more situations above? Well, the positive side is that under the light of the psychology you are not a psychopath! Which is a good thing; after all you possess affection, the capacity of being affected and to affect people. You probably are always described by your friends as “a good guy”, “cool”, “Good mate” or simply “someone with a good heart”. Looking on the negative side... you are a serious candidate to the “Idiot of the year” crown.

Question that does not stops: How to recognize when someone is pushing the boundaries and really abusing your good will? Or literally trying to send you to the circus to substitute the clown? It is a difficult answer for sure. Ready revenue doesn't exist, but in the general, it is necessary to be cautious, because that varies from case to case. The truth is, usually this person has some issues about being accepted by others (Tip of advice? Seek a therapist; I am not here to deepen anything!). In my opinion, the person that submits themselves to certain people and certain situations are those with serious self-esteem problems. Another piece of free advice, when you feel abused, tired, betrayed or even placed on a corner, do not wait for Patrick Swayze to come and say “No one puts you on a corner”, first this is a film, and second, he is dead! It only remains one thing to do, look the person in the eyes and say it loud... mate, I am a spiritual person, not stupid!

Lady Lúcia, thank you very much for having taught me that catch phrase.

A good week and remember, don't leave anybody to abuse your trust. To help others is nice, but not helping yourself is not cool!